Unfortunately, that question is not an overstatement for marijuana pushers. It’s part of how they promote THC, the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, to everyone including teenagers. Apparently not satisfied with underplaying or denying THC/marijuana’s documented dangers, they instead claim it is a “miracle herb”, a cure-all.

So, when your teenager takes up smoking pot or vaping hash oil or ingesting THC-laced candies, they are doing something good. Perhaps, it would even be a good thing for them to give THC-laced cookies or gummy bears to young children — after all THC/marijuana isn’t a powerful, addictive, psychoactive drug — it is good for you.

"Snake oils" always claim they cure just about everything

“Snake oils” always claim they cure just about everything

How good? Following are some of the claims made for the wonderful things pot does or could do if only more people were able to get it freely. You might notice that some of our most disconcerting and tragic diseases make this list. And please also note, this is not satirical or made-up. These are some, not all, of the claims we found being pushed by pro-pot apologists.

First, it fights cancer. And if someone you love has cancer and you’re depressed, you’re in luck, because it can help depression. If you’re not really depressed, just anxious, that’s okay because it fights anxiety too. Of course, if you get too anxious, pot has you covered because it’ll calm panic attacks.

But that just scratches the surface. If you give it to your grandparents it can slow the development of Alzheimer’s disease. And it helps those who suffer from headaches. Did we mention PTSD, eating disorders, ADHD and the way it regulates obsessive compulsive disorder? How about showing promise for treating autism? And although these are all conditions it helps, the better news is that we might be able to completely avoid some problems because pot isn’t just a medicine, it can actually protect your brain.

But wait, there’s more! Pot can help broken bones heal faster. And, finally some good news for cigarette smokers because pot can improve lung health. It helps MS patients, controls muscle spasms, treats arthritis, regulates metabolism, helps people with AIDS/HIV, is effective for treating nausea, calms asthma attacks, can improve skin conditions, helps moderate menstrual problems and can help you lose weight. It can replace Viagra for some men and if they have too much unprotected sex, it also treats certain STDs.

Still, we’re thinking too small as we’ve only listed things it does for individuals — the picture is so much brighter when we look at what it can do for society as a whole. What other drug can help fight climate change while creating jobs and new industries, lower crime rates and lead to safer roads? That’s right, only pot can do that. Oh, and also help keep your pets healthy.

And as for its effect on the workplace, well, since it helps you sleep and gives you more pleasant dreams perhaps you’ll be better rested for work. But if not, in the morning pot becomes a “smart drug” and can bring your energy levels up while helping you get through the work day, all the while making you more productive. So, to do better at work you should seriously consider smoking pot instead of drinking coffee to top off your great stoned night’s sleep.

These are some, not all the claims for how wonderful THC/marijuana is. THC/marijuana promoters love to extoll the virtues of “medical marijuana” without being too specific about which of its reported 400 or more components, including 60 cannabinoids and multiple carcinogens (essentially the same as are in tobacco but concentrated up to 50% more in pot smoke), might have all these wondrous benefits. Their position seems to be that we shouldn’t bother with the pesky science that is required to determine, for every other drug on the market, exactly which compound has medical value — and in what doses and for which conditions.

It’s almost as if something has convinced the pro-pot proponents to believe, perhaps after smoking a few too many or ingesting gummy bears laced with THC, that we should just accept pot as a wonder drug, perhaps even a missing necessity in our lives. It seems to be imperative for them that everyone have unfettered access to as much marijuana as possible, and right away. Maybe they also think it is a good idea to give alcoholics unfettered, free access to liquor stores.

But whatever their opinion about that, remember that THC/marijuana marketing to your children often includes the “wondrous” benefits it bestows on users. So don’t be surprised if you hear arguments about how “healthy” it is. I guess the pro-pot marketers think we and our children should all be comforted by this list because it confirms that pot can cure or improve just about anything and everything.